Big Yellow Taxi

I was sitting on the bus today and there was this guy across the way who had on these giant platinum headphones. It was awesome. I was so fascinated by him. THAT, I thought, must be an interesting person.

I was also listening to "Big Yellow Taxi" and it felt so fitting. Today was the last day before Thanksgiving Break and I had just said goodbye to most of my friends yesterday. It wasn't until I was on the bus that I realized how much I was going to miss them (even if I was going to see them in less than a week). You don't what you got 'til it's gone. So true. So true.

How to feel

Haha. This title is like the movie "How to be", which I still want to watch.

I don't know how to feel anymore. I miss my family, but only when I'm with them. When I'm away, I don't miss them at all. It feels strange. I miss my friends, and yet I'm emotionally detached from them at the same time.

I also don't understand the feeling of loneliness. I feel lonely every ONCE IN A WHILE. Not all the effin' time. My friends are all: "I'm watching a movie. I want someone to watch it with me. I'm going to go eat. I want someone to eat with me. I'm taking a frickin' WALK IN PUBLIC and I want someone to go with me." What is this? Why is everyone so afraid of being alone all the time? Why do they need constant companionship and comfort and reassurance? Surely, not EVERYONE is that insecure and self-conscious. I will never understand it. It's such an alien feeling to me.

Maybe it comes from the fact that I'm so introverted so I enjoy my time alone. Or maybe because I don't care so much what other people think. Seriously, when I go out in public to eat or go to class or for any reason, thoughts like: "Oh, is everyone watching me? Are they judging me? Do they think I have no friends because I'm all alone? Do they see me as a loser? Do they pity me?" hardly ever cross my mind. Actually, they only began to cross my mind when my friends confessed that those were THEIR thoughts whenever they went out in public. (Well, some of my friends really don't care what everyone else thinks--they just don't like to be alone. But it still confuses me.)

I still don't understand that. If I'm watching a movie, I PREFER to by myself. That way, there aren't people there to interrupt the movie or criticize everything. If I'm eating, I don't want people watching. If I'm going in public, everyone is too worried about themselves to pay attention so why even bother?

It baffles me. It really, really does.

Personal Ad

The Periodic Encounters girl from Flagstaff, Arizona did a personal ad for her blog post so I thought I would do one, too. Just for fun.

Short Asian female looking for friends. NOT LOVE. FRIENDS. Actually, if the love of my life is out there reading this, I have one message for you: STAY THE ---- AWAY FROM ME. I'll shoot you. I swear.

THE END.:)

Starbursts and Music

There's this row of trees near Tillman Hall. Since it's fall, the trees have all these little pentacle-shaped autumn leaves, all gold. It almost looks as if there was a meteor shower one night and the slender branches reached out and caught all the stars as they were falling to the earth. I call them the Starburst Trees.

Anyway, that's my poetic thought for the day.

Secondly, I was in the Brooks Center (that's the performing arts center at my school. They have all these rooms where you could practice music) and I come to the only room where they have a practice carillon...only to find that there's some guy in there playing his trombone. I wanted to kick him out. BUT...I decided against it.

Also, there's this other guy who keeps playing the Flintstones theme song over and over again. It gets stuck in my head and I end up singing it all the way to class.

Another thing happened in the Brooks Center once. I was checking all the piano rooms and the only one with an available piano was across from this blond guy who was also playing the piano. Well, there really isn't much of a point in having separate rooms for the pianos since you can still hear everyone in EVERY ROOM (soundproofing? Mon oeil!). Anyway, I was practicing my usual songs when I heard the other guy playing something that sounded like Prelude. So I started playing Prelude. Right after that, I played Fur Elise. But when I finished, I realized that HE was also playing Fur Elise. It's like we were influencing each other. I never saw that guy again but that memory still makes me smile.

Bubbly and precious

A few of my friends and I were in Longhorn Steakhouse celebrating our friend's birthday. Near the end of the dinner, the song "Bubbly" came on and all of us started swaying and singing to it. The waitress came by, took one look at us, and said, "Well, aren't you all precious?". It broke the moment but we just laughed and went back to talking.

Craig took Melissa and me to the forest today and I learned something very important: Forests are like relationships--romantic...but treacherous. Seriously, I slipped at one point and I thought: Wow, wouldn't it be great if I just went headlong down this steep slope, gutted myself on those (very sharp) rocks, and splashed my insides out into the river below? Yeah. Good times.

P.S. I called a lot of my friends today and apparently woke them from their sleep...IT WAS 2:30 P.M. I had been up since 7 in the morning. Apparently, I'm not a very good college student since I don't even sleep til (WAY) past noon on a Sunday.