A classmate of mine was doing an activity along with her class presentation. As people came into the classroom, she had people choose a brown paper bag out of several that she had fanned out in her hands. I chose the one on the far left (my left) and she commented, "I always wonder where people would pick. I wonder if it says anything about them." Maybe it did, but I just answered her, "I just picked the one closest to me."
She told us that there was a different picture in each bag, and that we should pull it out to see what we had chosen. I pulled mine out and then stared at it for a long time. Feelings, old and deep, began to well up in me, and it took me a moment to realize what the feelings were--longing. My picture was a simple one. It pictured a family gathered around a table for a feast. There were two middle-aged adults (probably the parents), two older adults who I assumed were the grandparents, and three children. Everyone in the picture was smiling at each other. I stared at the picture for the longest time, noticing the feelings rise up within me. It's strange that this picture--just a small, slightly blurry printout of a family gathering for a feast--could suddenly resemble everything I've ever longed for in my life, everything I've ever wanted. It was like looking into the mirror of Erised. I'm sure that if I had looked into that mirror, I would have seen the same thing, except with my own family there instead. I imagined my father looking healthy, my mother smiling in her shy way, and my brother with his toothy, Cheshire Cat grin. My grandparents would be there, too, all of them, including the grandmother who died before I was born. That's when I realized that the best things in life really WEREN'T things at all. I didn't long for money or success or fame or fortune, not all of those things that society conditioned us to want. All I wanted was a happy, healthy, loving family. All I wanted were two parents who had a happy marriage and who were still in love with each other. I wanted to know my grandparents, really know them, and not just have memories of them when I was a toddler and too young to realize them for what they were.
I almost cried, sitting there in class and staring at this picture. Even when I came home, I still had that picture in my hand, its symbolism in my head. Then I taped that picture to my bedroom wall. My wall of wants, I called it. That's when I decided that anytime I found something I really wanted, whether it be frivolous like a pair of shiny black shoes or something important like a family, I would take its picture, its symbolism, and paste it on my wall. It made me wonder what else I wanted and just didn't realize it yet...
She told us that there was a different picture in each bag, and that we should pull it out to see what we had chosen. I pulled mine out and then stared at it for a long time. Feelings, old and deep, began to well up in me, and it took me a moment to realize what the feelings were--longing. My picture was a simple one. It pictured a family gathered around a table for a feast. There were two middle-aged adults (probably the parents), two older adults who I assumed were the grandparents, and three children. Everyone in the picture was smiling at each other. I stared at the picture for the longest time, noticing the feelings rise up within me. It's strange that this picture--just a small, slightly blurry printout of a family gathering for a feast--could suddenly resemble everything I've ever longed for in my life, everything I've ever wanted. It was like looking into the mirror of Erised. I'm sure that if I had looked into that mirror, I would have seen the same thing, except with my own family there instead. I imagined my father looking healthy, my mother smiling in her shy way, and my brother with his toothy, Cheshire Cat grin. My grandparents would be there, too, all of them, including the grandmother who died before I was born. That's when I realized that the best things in life really WEREN'T things at all. I didn't long for money or success or fame or fortune, not all of those things that society conditioned us to want. All I wanted was a happy, healthy, loving family. All I wanted were two parents who had a happy marriage and who were still in love with each other. I wanted to know my grandparents, really know them, and not just have memories of them when I was a toddler and too young to realize them for what they were.
I almost cried, sitting there in class and staring at this picture. Even when I came home, I still had that picture in my hand, its symbolism in my head. Then I taped that picture to my bedroom wall. My wall of wants, I called it. That's when I decided that anytime I found something I really wanted, whether it be frivolous like a pair of shiny black shoes or something important like a family, I would take its picture, its symbolism, and paste it on my wall. It made me wonder what else I wanted and just didn't realize it yet...
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