A strange and wonderful thing happened the other night. I woke up in tears again, overwhelmed by fears of the future, overwhelmed by thoughts of not being able to find a job or finding a job I don't like, fears of being perpetually being poor and always having to pay off debt. Will I ever amount to anything? I thought. Will I ever get myself out of debt?
Then a calm voice inside me said soothingly, Trust in yourself, remember? Trust in the future. Trust in God. Trust in your decisions and trust in yourself. And I ACTUALLY STOPPED CRYING. I just sat there, my breathing and pulse calming down. I thought, You're right. I don't know the future yet and there's no way for me to tell how it's going to turn out.
Good, now go back to sleep, the voice said gently. So I turned on my side and went back to sleep.
P.S. I know, I know, it makes me sound crazy. It makes me sound like I'm hallucinating or hearing voices, but let me tell you something, I'll take the imaginary voices that help support and uplift me over the real-life voices of people who have humiliated me and cut me down all my life. Take from that what you will.
Then a calm voice inside me said soothingly, Trust in yourself, remember? Trust in the future. Trust in God. Trust in your decisions and trust in yourself. And I ACTUALLY STOPPED CRYING. I just sat there, my breathing and pulse calming down. I thought, You're right. I don't know the future yet and there's no way for me to tell how it's going to turn out.
Good, now go back to sleep, the voice said gently. So I turned on my side and went back to sleep.
P.S. I know, I know, it makes me sound crazy. It makes me sound like I'm hallucinating or hearing voices, but let me tell you something, I'll take the imaginary voices that help support and uplift me over the real-life voices of people who have humiliated me and cut me down all my life. Take from that what you will.
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