Worry My Life Away

I was driving to work when the radio played a song with a nice guitar riff. After a few moments of listening, I said, "Is this Jason Mraz?" Indeed it was. It was one of his earliest hits, "The Remedy." There was a part in the song, however, that kept repeating, "I...won't worry my life away," and I thought, That fits me so perfectly. That's what I do: I WORRY MY LIFE AWAY. I spend so much time worrying and somehow, I think that it makes things better. I feel like I owe to the world somehow, like I owe it to myself and the people I love. I feel as if thinking of the worst possible scenario for everything somehow makes me more prepared for it. But it doesn't. It just makes me feel stressed out and helpless. It gets in the way of my enjoying life at all.

I was talking to Matt over the weekend; both he and my counselor said that I worry about things that are too far in the future. I worry about things that may never happen, or that are so far in the future, it's useless worrying about it now. So why do I do it? Does it really help me in any way? No. It just causes lots of stress and sleepless nights. So as I was talking to Matt, I said to him, "You're right. I worry too much. I'm going to stop worrying right...NOW." And I did. I just let it all go. Don't get me wrong, I will still continue to worry sometimes. I will slip back into old habits, but as soon as I catch myself, I'm just going to shrug and let it go. I refuse to worry my life away. I refuse.