Honesty

I was reading an article today on how a 14-year-old Utah student shot himself in the head in front of all his peers. His classmates said that he might have killed himself because of the bullying from school, but school officials said that he nor anyone else ever reported bullying. The students then replied that the bullying may not have been physical but verbal, which is much harder to see. My first reaction to the article was extreme sadness. Someone had just take their own life and it might have been from bullying. I then remember being bullied all through grade school and my second reaction to the article was, Man, if I had a gun, I would have killed myself at 14, too. Then I thought, Uh-oh. That's not a good way to think. Then I remembered something else I had read. On a list of 12 Things You Should Never Lie About, one was your mental health. I remembered all of my issues with anxiety and depression, stemming from all kinds of things and it made me think that I should really have this checked out by a professional. And soon. I looked up therapists today and tried contacting a few of them. Hopefully, this will the first step on my long road to recovery. It's like Margaret Paul, Ph.D. once said, "You will continue to feel empty as long as you continue to abandon yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. When you decide it's time to take responsibility for yourself and learn to open your heart to love, you will no longer feel empty within." I know that this may sound cliche to some, but I've lived the last ten years of my life hating myself and I know how her words are true. If I'm going to be honest with myself, I need to admit that I do have a problem and it does need help, especially before it's too late.