I was reading a book on personality and romantic relationships when I read a part about how the personality is "internalized experience." It went on to say how children internalize the behaviors and habits of their parents and later recreate them when they grow into adults. A lot of people live their lives swearing to never turn out like their parents, but often, this does not prove true. This is part of the reason why some people repeat the abusive, neglectful, or manipulative behavior of their parents despite all logic and resolve.
That's when I realized that I, too, did this to some unconscious extent. I had internalized a lot of my mother's habits. For example, when I was a child, I hated combing my hair; I just didn't see the point. My mother would repeatedly tell me in a frustrated tone, "Why don't you comb your hair?!" I didn't want to, and I resented her for telling me to do so. Now I realize that I might have just been rebelling against her at the time, that my refusal to comb my hair (or take care of my appearance) stemmed from my adolescent self trying to assert a sense of independence. Besides, my hair really WAS messy and needed frequent maintenance so she had a point.
Now that I'm an adult, however, those internalized experiences have come to the forefront. I comb my hair often now--three times a day and sometimes as much as 5-7 times a day. I'm pretty sure that it's not the only internalized experience which has manifested itself now that I'm older.
Lastly, the older I become, the more I start to resemble my mother. Not so much in looks, but in habit and thinking patterns. Also, the older my mother becomes, the more she resembles her mother. If that's the case, then I'm going to have an interesting time taking care of her when she gets older. :)
P.S. The book I was reading is called "Actually, It IS Your Parents' Fault...that your romantic relationship isn't working. (Here's how to fix it.)" by Phillip Van Munching and Bernie Katz, Ph.D (long title, I know).
That's when I realized that I, too, did this to some unconscious extent. I had internalized a lot of my mother's habits. For example, when I was a child, I hated combing my hair; I just didn't see the point. My mother would repeatedly tell me in a frustrated tone, "Why don't you comb your hair?!" I didn't want to, and I resented her for telling me to do so. Now I realize that I might have just been rebelling against her at the time, that my refusal to comb my hair (or take care of my appearance) stemmed from my adolescent self trying to assert a sense of independence. Besides, my hair really WAS messy and needed frequent maintenance so she had a point.
Now that I'm an adult, however, those internalized experiences have come to the forefront. I comb my hair often now--three times a day and sometimes as much as 5-7 times a day. I'm pretty sure that it's not the only internalized experience which has manifested itself now that I'm older.
Lastly, the older I become, the more I start to resemble my mother. Not so much in looks, but in habit and thinking patterns. Also, the older my mother becomes, the more she resembles her mother. If that's the case, then I'm going to have an interesting time taking care of her when she gets older. :)
P.S. The book I was reading is called "Actually, It IS Your Parents' Fault...that your romantic relationship isn't working. (Here's how to fix it.)" by Phillip Van Munching and Bernie Katz, Ph.D (long title, I know).
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