Monday, October 8, 2012

Sept. 29, 2012


I was in the grocery store with Matt and we happened to have a very happy cashier. She was all cheery and smiley and kept saying, “God bless you.” As Matt and I left the grocery store, he commented on how nice she was, and I said, “She’s the first person I’ve met here that actually seemed happy with her life.”

Matt laughed, but it’s true. I’ve never met anyone at this grocery store who seemed even half satisfied with their life. They all seem so despondent and glum. Now I know that working at a grocery store may not be anyone’s dream job, but they acted as if they were stuck this way, as if life was never going to get any better. Then I felt bad all of a sudden because I realized that for some people, life wasn’t going to get any better. There wasn’t very much hope of moving up, moving out, or moving away. Their job paralleled their life—they weren’t going anywhere else in their job, and they weren’t going anywhere else in their life. This made me sad.

After I dropped off Matt at the airport today, I drove home to find myself feeling partner loneliness, that kind of loneliness that comes from missing a significant other. It doesn't matter what else goes on in life: I could have plenty of hobbies and activities. I could have a healthy social life. I could have meaning and fulfillment in my life, but somehow, these things did not equal my Matthew. 

Now I know what people mean by “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone.” I always thought that those forlorn love songs were exaggerating, but now I know exactly what they mean. Then I thought of people who have lost their significant other and it made me even sadder. I remembered something Maggie Smith said about her deceased husband, “I still miss him so much it's ridiculous. People say it gets better but it doesn't. It just gets different, that's all. Even in my dream I kept saying to him, 'You are dead. You can't be here.'" By the way, for those who don’t know, Maggie Smith is the actress who played Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter films.

Matthew, if you’re out there, know that I love you and miss you, in this life and beyond.

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Hi, I'm jumira-wings, likely to be one of the strangest people you'll ever meet.