We did a diversity training exercise in class today. The basic premise was to have the class stand shoulder to shoulder in a straight line. Then the teacher would read a bunch of statements and we would take one step forward or backward, depending on whether the statement applied to us. For example, "If you come from a middle or upper-class family, take one step forward. If you come from a working class family, take one step back." The statements referred to privileged or oppressed statuses in American society and at the end of the exercise, my fellow students and I could see where we stand in relation to oppressed or privileged statuses.
When we were done with the exercise, I was the one standing at the back, with most of my classmates standing three or four steps ahead of me, indicating that I was the most disadvantaged and oppressed out of everyone in my class. At first, my teacher thought that I would feel bad about ending up at the back, but when she asked me to share my thoughts and feelings, I said,
"Actually, I felt proud of myself. I felt proud that I had conquered all these disadvantages and oppressions to come all the way here to grad school."
"So you felt empowered." she said.
"Yes," I replied. "BUT..."
"But...?"
"But as we talked about it in class, I realized an insidious truth." [pause for dramatic effect] "I realized that people like me are used to justify a meritocracy. The American Dream. The American Dream isn't real. The American Dream is an American myth. Everyone thinks that this is the land of opportunity, but it isn't. Justin over there mentioned, 'If there are so many disadvantaged groups, then what about Oprah Winfrey? Or Barack Obama?', but the thing is, for every Oprah Winfrey, there are a million more black women who ARE discriminated against. And I wasn't without discrimination. I faced sexism and racism on my way here. That's when I realized: people like me are used to justify a meritocracy."
I don't know why, but I started to shake halfway through that speech. I felt like I should have been on a pulpit saying that, pronouncing all these harsh realities that the privileged group are so willing to ignore, dismiss, or even endorse. After that, I shut up for the rest of the class. I withdrew into myself and thought about why I reacted the way I did. I suppose I had a lot more invested into my views than I realized.
I don't know. I'll explore it more later as I go along.
When we were done with the exercise, I was the one standing at the back, with most of my classmates standing three or four steps ahead of me, indicating that I was the most disadvantaged and oppressed out of everyone in my class. At first, my teacher thought that I would feel bad about ending up at the back, but when she asked me to share my thoughts and feelings, I said,
"Actually, I felt proud of myself. I felt proud that I had conquered all these disadvantages and oppressions to come all the way here to grad school."
"So you felt empowered." she said.
"Yes," I replied. "BUT..."
"But...?"
"But as we talked about it in class, I realized an insidious truth." [pause for dramatic effect] "I realized that people like me are used to justify a meritocracy. The American Dream. The American Dream isn't real. The American Dream is an American myth. Everyone thinks that this is the land of opportunity, but it isn't. Justin over there mentioned, 'If there are so many disadvantaged groups, then what about Oprah Winfrey? Or Barack Obama?', but the thing is, for every Oprah Winfrey, there are a million more black women who ARE discriminated against. And I wasn't without discrimination. I faced sexism and racism on my way here. That's when I realized: people like me are used to justify a meritocracy."
I don't know why, but I started to shake halfway through that speech. I felt like I should have been on a pulpit saying that, pronouncing all these harsh realities that the privileged group are so willing to ignore, dismiss, or even endorse. After that, I shut up for the rest of the class. I withdrew into myself and thought about why I reacted the way I did. I suppose I had a lot more invested into my views than I realized.
I don't know. I'll explore it more later as I go along.
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