Sept. 14, 2012

My goodness. Stressful day. I took my car into Goodyear to have some maintenance work done on it. I had received these coupons in the mail and my car was due for maintenance anyway so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone. Mistake. Next time, I learned that I should always read reviews of a place before I try it out, especially if it’s for something that could potentially cost me a lot of money (like doing maintenance on my car). So I take my car in and they tell me that they can do an oil change for me and that I should get my thermometer changed, too. I agree.

Hours later, I get a call from them saying that they found a few other things they can do maintenance on, like cleaning my rear brakes and replacing my cabin and air filters. I agree to do the maintenance work…at the extra cost of $197. What was I thinking? Oh yeah. I was thinking that doing maintenance work is a lot less costly than waiting for something to break down, especially if my car broke down at a time and place that was inconvenient. However, I really wish I had stuck to my requests for just an oil change, and not even “change my thermostat”. 

I phoned Matthew and he told me that I had been ripped off and that I should call them and tell them to stop whatever they are doing on my car. I called, but they had already finished their work and told me to come by at 7 pm to pick up the car. Disheartened, I hung up and waited. When Matt called back and I told them that they had already finished work on my car, he told me very firmly that I needed to call them back and tell them to stop ripping me off and to discount the charges for what I did not explicitly ask for. I began crying uncontrollably at that and finally, he told me to give him their phone number so he could chew them out.

SEE? THAT’S IT. That reluctance to cause trouble, or make waves, has always been such a pervasive (and sometimes unfortunate) part of my personality. I’m just too scared. I’m too scared to complain. I’m too scared to say no. I’m too scared to be assertive or speak my mind.

It’s sad really. People walk all over me, take advantage of me, and I never do anything about it. I just lie there and take it. It frustrated my mother and now it’s frustrating Matthew. And I ‘m not sure I understand why. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE. I REALLY NEED TO WORK ON MY CONFLICT-AVOIDANT PERSONALITY. THIS CAN’T GO ON FOREVER OR I’LL JUST BE AN EMPTY SHELL OF A PERSON WHO PEOPLE JUST TRAMPLE ON.

That makes me think: Am I going to be this way forever? This sap who can’t stand up for herself? This weakling who has to have other people fight her fights for her? When will it ever change? When will it ever stop? Where do other people’s feelings end and my rights begin?

Craig used to call me a door mat. He was right.