I almost got stuck doing an internship at a youth development program working with high-school aged children. Luckily, some other graduate student from Seton Hall stepped in and took the spot instead.
"It's not that working with high-school aged kids is the end of the world," Matthew says. Really? Then why did I lie on the floor and cry for half an hour after I thought I had to take the position? It wasn't until I sobered up and stopped crying that I began to think about why it had elicited such a strong reaction in me. After much pondering and reflection, I realize that I don't like kids because they've terrorized me all my life. Even well into high school and my college years, kids have been able to bring me to tears. I don't know why. Maybe it's me. Maybe they can sense that I'm meek and weak and timid. Maybe they know that they can get to me and therefore, have power over me. Maybe it's because I let them get to me. Who knows? There's something about the words and honesty of a child that can be unbearably brutal. In any case, all I know is that I didn't get along with kids when I was a kid, and now that I'm an adult, I get along with them even less. I can't help but feel like I dodged a bullet with that internship. On the other hand, this realization probably means that I have some deep-seated unresolved issues...
* * *
After the whole internship fiasco, I walked to campus to do some errands because I felt like 3 pm was too early in the day to call it quits. I'm glad I did walk to campus because I got a lot done--printed off my syllabus, for example. I also got my student ID card. I look so goofy in the picture, smiling like I just won the lottery or something.
Lastly, I looked up the cost of a parking pass for campus, but all the ones for the main campus were sold out. I should have figured, this being the central campus for the school. I suppose it's 4.4 miles of walking every Tuesday and Wednesday for me. Maybe a bicycle would be a good investment. i should look into that...
"It's not that working with high-school aged kids is the end of the world," Matthew says. Really? Then why did I lie on the floor and cry for half an hour after I thought I had to take the position? It wasn't until I sobered up and stopped crying that I began to think about why it had elicited such a strong reaction in me. After much pondering and reflection, I realize that I don't like kids because they've terrorized me all my life. Even well into high school and my college years, kids have been able to bring me to tears. I don't know why. Maybe it's me. Maybe they can sense that I'm meek and weak and timid. Maybe they know that they can get to me and therefore, have power over me. Maybe it's because I let them get to me. Who knows? There's something about the words and honesty of a child that can be unbearably brutal. In any case, all I know is that I didn't get along with kids when I was a kid, and now that I'm an adult, I get along with them even less. I can't help but feel like I dodged a bullet with that internship. On the other hand, this realization probably means that I have some deep-seated unresolved issues...
* * *
After the whole internship fiasco, I walked to campus to do some errands because I felt like 3 pm was too early in the day to call it quits. I'm glad I did walk to campus because I got a lot done--printed off my syllabus, for example. I also got my student ID card. I look so goofy in the picture, smiling like I just won the lottery or something.
Lastly, I looked up the cost of a parking pass for campus, but all the ones for the main campus were sold out. I should have figured, this being the central campus for the school. I suppose it's 4.4 miles of walking every Tuesday and Wednesday for me. Maybe a bicycle would be a good investment. i should look into that...
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