Office Job

I've been back at internship for about a week now, and no one has come in to fix our lights! They went dim the day my internship opened back up for the new year, and now, a week later, the lights are still very dim and flickering. It's better in the morning because there is natural sunlight streaming in through the windows, but when evening comes, it's a different story. My coworkers and I are struggling as we type up documents and organize files. Turrible. Absolutely turrible. I told my coworkers that I'm bringing in a lamp tomorrow just in case no one comes to fix our lights. Everyone, including me, is suffering from eye strain, and I can't take much more of it. I already have terrible eyesight and so I want to salvage whatever is left before I go legally blind.

Also, now that I'm working at my internship full-time until the school semester starts, I'm really getting a sense of how boring office life can be. It's lots of paperwork, filing, typing, and organizing. Not that I have anything against that. As a matter of fact, I'm quite good at that kind of secretarial office duty. When I took a career test in eighth grade, my strengths and talents pointed me towards being a file clerk. (Yes, God had great plans in mind for me...). It was fine doing clerical work two days a week during the school semester, but to do it for 40 hours a week is monotonous. Sitting for hours on end is not helping my back, either. My back tends to complain if I sit for too long. I do take time to stretch every 20 minutes, but the small office space and the jobs I am assigned do not allow much room for physical activity.

My mom used to praise office jobs. It's safe and secure, she told me. It's air-conditioned and protects you from the elements. In those cases, an office job DOES has its perks. It IS climate-controlled in here and it's a relatively safe, predictable environment. Still, the tradeoff for that is monotony, repetition, and a sedentary lifestyle. Not for me, no thank you. I never thought I would say this, but I hope that wherever I end up, it's not an office job.

Wine-Tasting

I went wine-tasting with a few friends this past weekend and boy, was I tipsy. I had the equivalent of about a glass or two of wine and I was stumbling all over the place and laughing at everything...

I really should get tipsy more often. The world is funnier that way. :)

The first wine tasting was in this farmer's market that made and sold their own wine. The lady conducting the wine-tasting seemed very knowledgeable and to really enjoy what she did. I got my first taste of berry wine here. The second wine tasting was on a winery where there was this sweeping view of mountains, orchards, and wide open field. It reminded me very much of Long Creek from back home and once again, I felt this strong urge to go live in nature. Although, if I ever did, I wouldn't pick a place so cold...

In addition to the new wines, I got my first taste of wine crackers. They serve them with wine tastings to cleanse the palate. They are these tiny, crunchy things that remind me of white, puffed up Cheez-its. They tasted more like shortbread than Cheez-its, however, and I liked them so much that I just kept popping them into my mouth, even when I didn't really need to cleanse my palate. They went very well with the wine and made me curious to try different desserts with wine. I'm definitely coming back here again.

Matt bought a bottle of semi-sweet Hard Cider for us to drink on Valentine's Day weekend. I also liked the Stone House White Wine so one day I'll go back and buy that. Matt said that we should start up a wine collection with red wines for him and sweet white wines for me. I agreed. I didn't mind wine as long as it was sweet and with low alcohol. I know that's not the classy way to drink it, but seeing how I got tipsy from just one glass, then that should be enough warning to stick to the lighter stuff. I'm such a lightweight, but I am starting to enjoy wine more, even if in just small doses. Another plus, we got to keep our wine glasses from the tasting so Matt and I came home with four new wine glasses. :)

Number 7: Finding the Right Group of Friends

Ah, now this one is important. I've had lots of ups and downs with friendships and every time I think I finally made that "forever" group of friends, something changes. People drift apart, move away, change, find new groups of friends, etc. I never had many friends growing up. Maybe one friend at a time for a few years, but that's about it. I had a group of three friends in middle school, and barely any friends in high school. Additionally, I've often debated on the merits and dynamics of friendships as well. I once made an off-hand comment that maybe I shouldn't have any friends; Melissa was very upset by that.

I thought I had made my "forever" group of friends in college, but a lot of drama happened. People in the group made new friends and left our friendship group. Others moved away and some just don't talk or hang out anymore. It happens. I've made a few friends here in graduate school, but since most of them live far away, I don't get to see them outside of school. Now that we are on winter break, I want to set up a time for us to spend together, but for some, it doesn't justify the long commute just to meet up with some old classmates/acquaintances. Besides, everyone is busy and have their own lives. I've sort of made friends with my roommates, but between all of our busy schedules, there isn't much time to hang out. I can see now why it can be hard to have friends. It just seems like people get busier as they get older. We have school, jobs, family, partners. Then some people get married and have kids and then life becomes about the kids. People with kids tend to hang out with other people with kids so their children can have play dates. Then sometimes, people finish school and move away, move back home, or get jobs and it becomes harder to keep in touch.

Maybe some day, there will be that "forever" group of friends. Or maybe my life is not meant to be that way and there's nothing wrong with that, either. I understand that people change and that life sometimes take people in different directions. If I'm meant to keep moving from group to group, place to place, then I will accept it and see where life takes me. I will enjoy my friends when I am with them and I will look forward to making new friends.

Then there are the people who do NOT make good friends at all and that's also part of finding the right group of friends. Over the years, I've dropped people as friends who did not treat me well and who put no time or energy into the friendship. There are also people who did not treat my other friends very well and then there were friends who were just plain creepy, manipulative, bigoted, or excessively clingy. I've dropped those friends as well. Sometimes, it can be liberating to do that. Life is too short to spend the time being friends with people you don't like or with people who don't really care about you. I heard some good advice once from an article. It said to whittle down your friendship group to the three or four people you REALLY want to be with and who reciprocate. Then spend most of your social time with them. You can still have other friends, but it's this group that you will truly enjoy and appreciate the most.

Number 6: Being a Super-Fan

Here the article talked about being a super-fan of people like Justin Bieber or of One Direction. I'm not particularly a fan of them, but I suppose there are other figures whom I admire that others might look down upon. I like Lady Gaga for example. I also used to love listening to the Backstreet Boys. However, I would not call myself super-fans of these people. I don't have posters of them hanging up in my room and I don't go to their concerts and scream my lungs out when they get announced on stage. Then again, I can't afford to go to a concert. I suppose this one worry is not too salient or relevant for me.

Then I wondered if there any controversial actors or actresses I liked. Maybe, but  I wasn't too into it, either. I go through phases where I'll be obsessed with a certain person or a certain group, but it passes in a few months. So meh.

Number 5: Having a Perfect Resume

My resumé has not ever been particularly impressive. I'm in graduate school now and so making a 4.0 GPA in high school does not count for much. My grades in undergraduate were only average and my extracurricular activities have been a hodge-podge of volunteer activities that have nothing to do with each other. My resumé also says that I took three years of French, but I can't speak it at all. I can read it a little bit, but that's not particularly useful if I have a French-speaking client and I don't have the ability to talk to them.

Sometimes, I wish I had done more extracurricular activities, but I doubt that it would have helped me with my field of work now. I never participated in anything that had to do with social work or with counseling people. I never did an internship or worked at a mental health clinic. Even my volunteer activities were never impressive since they just consist of one-day volunteer activities and not regular attendance in any group organizations. I suppose my lack of extracurricular activities was partly a result of depression and low self-esteem in my younger years. Since I was painfully shy and avoided outside activities, this prevented me from participating in any regular groups. Thankfully, I have reduced my depression and my self-esteem has improved since then so I am more willing to try things. That's part of the reason why I look forward to growing older. I like myself better with every year, and maybe this will spill over into my work life. And my resumé.

Color-coordinating

Related to my previous post about defining my personal style, I was talking to Matt about how I wanted to learn how to color-coordinate this year. I'm so bad at color-coordinating. I'm the kind of person who wears  a shirt with horizontal stripes while donning pants with vertical stripes. Then I have mismatched socks on underneath the pants. Big fashion faux-pas. I've never really thought much about fashion or color-coordinating when I was younger, but now that I'm older, I start to notice how coordinated outfits really make for a well-put-together look. It's aesthetically pleasing. It draws the eye without desperately screaming, "Look at me! Look at me!"

Matt said that he thought learning to color-coordinate was a good idea and told me about how they make an app for people to coordinate color schemes. He told me that computer designers use it to coordinate color templates for webpages, but that it could also be used for color-coordinating clothes, too. I should look into that. My phone cannot use apps, but maybe I can learn how to color-coordinate from books and online articles. I also have a coworker at my internship who is good at color-coordinating so maybe I could learn from her.

Number 4: Defining Your Personal Style

My personal style has developed and consolidated as I've grown older. There are some things that have remained consistent over the years. For example, I loved dressing in classic black and white. I love red, too, especially if it's bright and vibrant red. Sometimes, I'll throw the red in with the black and white and go for a muted "vampire look." I used to dress a lot in red, white, and blue as well (not for patriotic reasons, though. I just thought the three colors looked good together. There's probably a good reason that many of the world's flags used red, white, and blue). As for other styles that have evolved over the years, I like checkerboard and argyle patterns. I love fleur-de-lis and I absolutely adore gothic lolita style. I've always wanted a plaid gothic lolita dress. I also like combat boots and coats that show off a woman's waist. One of my favorite outfits is to wear combat boots with a plaid dress and lacy corset. Maybe a bit extreme for some people, but it's what I like. At least for right now.

On the other hand, there are styles I'm not particularly fond of, such as paisley (I hate paisley!), animal prints (except for zebra), and houndstooth. Actually, I'm a bit on the fence about houndstooth. Sometimes I think people wear it well. For example, I love Lady Gaga's houndstooth outfit and piano, but other times I don't like it. Maybe that will change as I get older.

More updates on my personal style as it evolves.