Two points

I am two points away from failing my most hated class. Ergggghhhhh...

Apparently, I'm four points away from failing Anthropology but that's okay because I don't mind taking that class over again if I have to, but Psych 310 (the one I need two points to pass), THAT CLASS I would never want to take again.

Oh, Lawdy. I need help. I'm taking my final exam for Psych 310 tomorrow and if I don't make a swell grade, then I have to re-take the class.

On a much better note...I'm so glad I have friends. It's amazing what they're able to help you through--especially stress.

Plus, I'll be dropping by Moe Joe's (that's a coffee shop) and seeing whether my friend Melissa and I will have jobs this winter break. Wish me luck!

iHome

So I accidentally left my iPod at home over Thanksgiving Break, right? Well, when I got back to my apartment after the one-hour drive, I realized that I wouldn't be needing my iHome (you know, those stereo systems where you plug in your iPod and it plays your music) so I put it away on a shelf in my closet (a very high shelf).

Well, last night, my mom called and when I tried to get my cell phone out of my purse, I fumbled it and accidentally sent it crashing to the ground. And it broke. It's a old-fashioned flip phone so it was split down the "flip" part. Needless to say, none of my friends can call me to hang out now.

Another dilemma arose the same night. Since I use my cell phone as an alarm clock, I now had no alarm clock either. I realized this as I was falling asleep around 1 a.m. but I dragged myself out of bed anyway and went over to the closet to retrieve my only alarm clock back-up--my iHome.

Unfortunately, I forgot that my iHome has a very large and heavy charger/plug-in and when I yanked my iHome off of the closet shelf, the aforementioned item fell (heavily) onto my foot.

I spent the next thirty seconds clutching my bruising foot and rocking back and forth in silent pain. It was very humourous had you been there to see it.

Well, after that fiasco, I managed to plug in my iHome and spent another three minutes figuring out to set the alarm clock on it.

And THEN I went to sleep.

Judgmental

It never struck me as hard as it did today. I'm VERY judgmental. I sit on my proverbial high chair and judge everyone around me. But I don't want to anymore. I don't want to become bitter and cynical and hate everything.

I miss the taste of candy. The sweet, rolling taste of smoothness on my tongue. Long times of old forgotten. And coming back to me.

I'm shallow-minded, too. Which is probably why I'm judgmental. I realized this as I was riding on the bus and thought about how my friends liked to look deeper in things and I never did. I was either passively accepted or rejected things as they came. Where's all the humanity in that?

I ate a giant sandwich of eggs and bacon today. And I managed to fry the bacon without setting off the smoke alarm. Woot.

Anyway, this has just been my experiment with stream-of-consciousness writing. Or freewriting I suppose you call it. My next few posts should be more coherent. Note the "should be."

Big Yellow Taxi

I was sitting on the bus today and there was this guy across the way who had on these giant platinum headphones. It was awesome. I was so fascinated by him. THAT, I thought, must be an interesting person.

I was also listening to "Big Yellow Taxi" and it felt so fitting. Today was the last day before Thanksgiving Break and I had just said goodbye to most of my friends yesterday. It wasn't until I was on the bus that I realized how much I was going to miss them (even if I was going to see them in less than a week). You don't what you got 'til it's gone. So true. So true.

How to feel

Haha. This title is like the movie "How to be", which I still want to watch.

I don't know how to feel anymore. I miss my family, but only when I'm with them. When I'm away, I don't miss them at all. It feels strange. I miss my friends, and yet I'm emotionally detached from them at the same time.

I also don't understand the feeling of loneliness. I feel lonely every ONCE IN A WHILE. Not all the effin' time. My friends are all: "I'm watching a movie. I want someone to watch it with me. I'm going to go eat. I want someone to eat with me. I'm taking a frickin' WALK IN PUBLIC and I want someone to go with me." What is this? Why is everyone so afraid of being alone all the time? Why do they need constant companionship and comfort and reassurance? Surely, not EVERYONE is that insecure and self-conscious. I will never understand it. It's such an alien feeling to me.

Maybe it comes from the fact that I'm so introverted so I enjoy my time alone. Or maybe because I don't care so much what other people think. Seriously, when I go out in public to eat or go to class or for any reason, thoughts like: "Oh, is everyone watching me? Are they judging me? Do they think I have no friends because I'm all alone? Do they see me as a loser? Do they pity me?" hardly ever cross my mind. Actually, they only began to cross my mind when my friends confessed that those were THEIR thoughts whenever they went out in public. (Well, some of my friends really don't care what everyone else thinks--they just don't like to be alone. But it still confuses me.)

I still don't understand that. If I'm watching a movie, I PREFER to by myself. That way, there aren't people there to interrupt the movie or criticize everything. If I'm eating, I don't want people watching. If I'm going in public, everyone is too worried about themselves to pay attention so why even bother?

It baffles me. It really, really does.

Personal Ad

The Periodic Encounters girl from Flagstaff, Arizona did a personal ad for her blog post so I thought I would do one, too. Just for fun.

Short Asian female looking for friends. NOT LOVE. FRIENDS. Actually, if the love of my life is out there reading this, I have one message for you: STAY THE ---- AWAY FROM ME. I'll shoot you. I swear.

THE END.:)

Starbursts and Music

There's this row of trees near Tillman Hall. Since it's fall, the trees have all these little pentacle-shaped autumn leaves, all gold. It almost looks as if there was a meteor shower one night and the slender branches reached out and caught all the stars as they were falling to the earth. I call them the Starburst Trees.

Anyway, that's my poetic thought for the day.

Secondly, I was in the Brooks Center (that's the performing arts center at my school. They have all these rooms where you could practice music) and I come to the only room where they have a practice carillon...only to find that there's some guy in there playing his trombone. I wanted to kick him out. BUT...I decided against it.

Also, there's this other guy who keeps playing the Flintstones theme song over and over again. It gets stuck in my head and I end up singing it all the way to class.

Another thing happened in the Brooks Center once. I was checking all the piano rooms and the only one with an available piano was across from this blond guy who was also playing the piano. Well, there really isn't much of a point in having separate rooms for the pianos since you can still hear everyone in EVERY ROOM (soundproofing? Mon oeil!). Anyway, I was practicing my usual songs when I heard the other guy playing something that sounded like Prelude. So I started playing Prelude. Right after that, I played Fur Elise. But when I finished, I realized that HE was also playing Fur Elise. It's like we were influencing each other. I never saw that guy again but that memory still makes me smile.